Cruel To Be Kind
by Smapdi
Summary: Aftermath of the breakup in Be Cool.


**Author's Notes: For purposes of this story, Girl Crush doesn't exist. Also in my head canon, because I seriously hated it. Instead I have replaced it mentally with a montage of elevator ass slaps and lip bites.  
The break up scene was exquisitely painful and very traumatic to me. This is kind of a catharsis but I am still super nervous about the next few episodes. And yet I cannot wait!**

Mindy got home at 2 am from a late delivery. She was exhausted and hungry and her back was aching from the horrible call room bed which was the only place she was was able to rest in the last 48 hours. All she wanted was a bottle of wine and a bath and to sleep until she felt human again, and what she didn't want was to deal with the slumped figure sitting on her steps.

Danny.

She stood on the curb debating whether to get back in the cab and find a hotel before he saw her or just to be an adult about it when the cab pulled away and removed that option. He was staring at her anyway, so it was futile. She took a deep breath and tried to just walk by him but he jumped to his feet and grabbed her arm.

"Mindy, please." His voice was raw, and when she met his eyes, they were haggard. "Just talk to me for a minute."

She had been avoiding this for weeks. At the office, she managed to be civil on the rare occasion she had to interact with him, but she refused to answer his calls or texts. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him, but she couldn't, not without turning into a weepy mess. Even listening to his voicemails ruined her so she just deleted them.

The texts were a different story - she read them all, over and over. She kept waiting for the one that said he made a mistake, please take him back. She told herself decisively it was just so she could turn the tables and break his heart, but she knew it wasn't true. And it didn't matter, because that text never came.

And there he was, holding her arm. She fought off the tears that she felt stinging her eyes and steeled herself for whatever weak apology that he was going to come up with.

"Make it quick, Danny. I'm tired." She looked anywhere but at him.

"Can we... can I come up?"

She shook her head, eyes on her feet. "Whatever you want to say, say it now. And it had better not be 'I'm sorry.'"

"Mindy, I just... I hate this. You won't even look at me at work. Everyone knows something's wrong."

She snorted derisively. "Well isn't that ironic. Just what you were afraid of, Danny." She met his eyes, feeling suddenly brave. "Well, not the only thing..."

He flinched at her cutting tone. "I don't care about that. I care about you, and what this is doing to you. I feel horrible. I just didn't want to lose you and now... I've lost everything."

"Well, it sounds more like you care about what it's doing to you, Danny. Look, it's my turn to say I'm sorry, because I can't just turn off my feelings the way you clearly can. I can't go back and say it's okay, we can be BFFs." She gingerly pulled her arm free. "I was happy, Danny. I thought I made you happy too, but I guess that wasn't enough."

Mindy heard him say something as she turned away and walked up the steps, but the sound of blood rushing in her head drowned it out. She felt proud of herself, empowered, but as soon as she was safely behind her door, she deflated like a balloon and the tears came. She walked to the window to catch a glimpse of him and saw him standing with one hand covering his face and she thought maybe he was crying too. But when he moved, she ducked so he wouldn't see her, and when she looked again, he was gone.

They didn't talk again outside the office for the next few weeks. He didn't call her, or text her, or make small talk in the lunch room, and she thought each day would be the day that it wouldn't hurt as much. It never was. So she worked as much as she could and tried to figure out why she couldn't move on... besides the undeniable feeling that she just didn't want to.

Then came the emergency call to assist in a difficult delivery, and she was in the OR with her hands in the belly of one of Danny's patients. She could only see his eyes behind the surgical mask but they told her how thankful he was for her help. When the patient and baby were both safe, he followed her out to the lounge.

"That was great, Mindy." He said in a measured tone, sitting on the couch near her. "I couldn't have done that without you."

"You would have been fine with anyone, Danny. I was just a pair of hands." She flipped through a magazine and battled the churning in her stomach.

"You could never be just anything. You're an outstanding doctor." Something unsaid lingered in the air, heavy and foreboding. Danny exhaled loudly. "It was kind of like the good old days. Like, 2013."

Mindy bit her lip to suppress a smile, the first one that had come organically and not forced in quite a while. Danny caught it and leaned closer.

"Is that... are you almost smiling, Lahiri?" He smiled back as she looked up at him.

"Don't get used to it. That was... kind of funny, though." She played with her hair and looked back down at the magazine, uncomfortable with eye contact. His face did terrible things to her heart.

"Well, that's something." He paused and she could feel the tension radiating from him. "Listen, Min..."

"Danny, don't. This is... okay. Let's just leave it." She wasn't feeling like crying and she wanted to cling to that while she could, because it felt so damned good to be around him and not break down.

"Okay, yeah." Danny sat back against the couch and she could feel him looking at her. He was breathing loud and fiddling with his shirt. "I just gotta say one thing though." He burst out.

Mindy shut her eyes. "Danny..." She begged.

"Mindy. You have to know this. I didn't... I can't just shut off my emotions like you said. I wish to God I could, Min. This... this isn't how I wanted it to be."

She opened her eyes to see him leaning forward, a miserable expression on his face, his eyes pleading. She shivered.

"I know you don't want to hear that I'm sorry."

"No, I don't, Danny." She interjected, laying back and staring at the ceiling. "That was the first thing you said after you kissed me, and the last thing you said when you left me."

"I regret that, Mindy. You can't imagine how much."

"What? Kissing me, or leaving me?" Mindy said bitterly. When he didn't answer, she met his eyes and saw they were welled with tears.

"I could never regret kissing you." His voice cracked and Mindy felt her heart breaking all over again.

"Jesus, Danny, why are you doing this?" She buried her face in her hands.

"I miss you."

She choked back a sob. "I know, Danny, but I can't... I just can't be your friend right now."

"I don't miss you as a friend."

Mindy looked up with a grimace, confused.

"I mean, I do, but... I miss talking to you. I miss kissing you, and making you breakfast, and hearing your laugh..." He impulsively grasped her hand and she didn't have the strength to pull away. "I miss holding your hand."

"What do you want me to say, Danny? It wasn't my idea to end things." Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"I know, I... I thought it would be awful if I let us go too far. But it's awful anyway." He tried to laugh but the sound caught in his throat. "Mindy, can you... can you let me try again?"

The look in his eyes was killing her, but she was overwhelmed.

"You never even tried in the first place." She pulled her hand free and stood up. "I can't do this right now, Danny."

He watched her walk away from him again.

She stayed out of the office for a few days, feeling quite cowardly herself. She couldn't help but check her phone, expecting him to reach out, afraid that he would and strangely disappointed that he didn't. His fears had become hers, and while she wanted nothing more than to be with Danny, she was terrified of feeling this pain anew.

When she returned to work, her plan was to avoid him as long as she could, because she honestly didn't know what to say. It seemed she didn't have to, because he didn't come in that day, or the next, and she started to think she was going to have to reach out just to make sure he was okay.

Thursday morning she walked into her office and saw, on her desk, a house made of gingerbread and frosting, and she froze in her tracks. It was a little colonial, with a green lawn and white picket fence, and she stared at it dumbfounded until she had the nerve to look closer.

"What is this?" She said quietly, out loud but to herself.

"I made you a house." Danny's voice came from the doorway, and he walked in and shut the door behind him. She looked at him in shock.

"It's not Christmas." She whispered. He passed her, grabbing her hand and dragging her behind her desk to see the other side.

"No, it's not a Christmas house. It's... it's for you." He gestured to the back, which was open like a child's dollhouse, with tiny furnished rooms, all made of sugary decor. "There's the living room..." She peered closely as he pointed, mouth agape. "And the kitchen, and upstairs... there's our room... and the kids room..." His voice was so quiet and shaky she barely heard him.

"Danny, what..." She turned to look at him and he gazed at her with hopeful, earnest eyes.

"I want this, Mindy. I want to make this real for you... for us. If you'll let me..." He reached out to stroke her face. "I love you. I was afraid to even think it, let alone say it. I never knew I could love someone this much, and I..." He took a deep breath. "I hope I didn't fuck this up too badly."

She just stared at him, her heart pounding.

"Say something. What do you want me to do? I'll shout it from the rooftops if you want. I'll do anything to make you happy." He rushed to the door and flung it open. "Attention, can I have your attention please?"

"Danny, what are you doing?" Mindy caught him by the arm and tried to pull him back in the office.

"Mindy, I owe you this much. And more, but at least let me do this." He turned back to the expectant audience. "This is none of your business, and I don't want to hear your opinions. I don't care what you think." He swallowed hard before he continued. "I am..." he paused and looked at Mindy. "I am hopelessly in love with this woman."

"What woman?" Betsy squealed. Everyone ignored her.

"I love you, Mindy Lahiri." He smiled ruefully at Mindy and reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"God damn it, Danny." She choked before throwing herself into his arms, kissing him furiously. "I love you too, you idiot."

Morgan started a slow clap, but no one joined in. "Are we not doing this?"

"Tell us something we didn't know." Beverly snapped and returned to her computer. Mindy and Danny didn't hear a word.

"So, are we gonna do this?" Danny asked when they broke apart, as he stroked her hair. She nodded mutely, still struggling for words. He kissed her again, softly, then looked back at the office. "Get back to work!"

"Yeah, pervs." Mindy shouted. She turned back to Danny with a shy smile. "Can we take this somewhere less public please?"

"I'm glad that whatever the hell has been going on here is finally resolved so this place can return to a pleasant work environment." Jeremy and Peter approached the couple.

"Bout time you sacked up, dude." Peter raised his hand for a high five and was left hanging.

"What's that on your desk, Mindy?" Jeremy peeked past them.

"Stay away from that, Jeremy!" Mindy growled. "That's mine... ours." Danny squeezed her tightly. "Let's get out of here." She whispered. "And hurry."


End file.
